It started with one dissatisfied woman;
Drank her way to Nola & back again.
Then fell in love with a uniform,
Then, twin brothers
Each helpful to the other.
Mystery how she couldn’t love them,
But I could, & did, until their loss.
Finally a baby sister,
I tried to love her, but she nearly
broke my nose as I held her,
Baby head lurching forward
In her excitement to be held by me.
I must admit, I held a grudge for that injury
But not for long.
Then came my own, born into my
Tornado of a mind, me unable to
make sense of love, to make sense of anything.
They think I threw them away, but really it was me
Gone round the mountain.
Now, out of three
I have one & while I rejoice in my one,
I wish also for the remaining two.
Maybe some day.
I’m learning to mother my un-mothered
children along with myself.
There is joy, there is pain;
All is good for growth.
I give thanks.