Fear not, for I am with you.
He tells me many times
and yet I fear.
Not having enough,
being enough,
loving enough.
Patiently, He tells me again:
Fear not, for I am with you.

Then all my defenses come down
Like an imploding building,
The dust of my misery making a cloud
To block out His sun.
I am more than He bargained for –
The gray child, neither flesh nor spirit.

Yet He loves me and will not leave me.
Fear not, He says again and again.
Perhaps when I am gone from this place
Into His heaven, I will not fear.
Perhaps when paradise surrounds me
with beautiful oases I can rest and release my fear,
for He is with me always.