She’s so broken she can barely talk.
Her heart has gone to ground,
I want so badly to rescue her.
Tears like diamonds fall from her reddened eyes.
Brother & sister make sure she knows
how in contempt they hold her even
while they say, “I love you.”
Like a pit of vipers is their love.
The mother who left her is the only one who understands,
the only one who can honestly say,
“I know, honey.”
Those who hold her in contempt hate me too.
It’s ok, I love them despite their judgement.
But I can’t forgive them for hurting my baby girl,
since she was a baby girl.
Some giant being stood over my lifeless self.
I was not yet human, though formed.
His eyes searched for flaw, and finding none,
He breathed Himself into me and I rose, His.
This is how I picture it happening,
like coming out of anesthesia,
but with no memory of Before.
Just Now, knowing I am created out of love
for who I was and could be, with His help.
Like a boulder waiting, stern, ancient, alone,
sit my past sins.
Those who think a leopard’s spots never change
I’ve borne the grief of pleasures, the weight of false joy,
just to see how far I could go.
Like a cloud, breathing, quick, alone,
lies my salvation.
I only have to stretch out my
one good hand to grasp eternity’s joys.
How easy, to catch the Father’s hand
as I slingshot around the moon,
knowing He has gathered my angels ’round me.
I whisper, Amen, Abba,
Liquid moonlight watched you drink the brew
Through leaves of the Guardian trees.
You’d pinned hopes to this drink
Prayed it wouldn’t kill you,
Visions & all.
After the retching you lay upon a quilt
Keeping dew from your clothing;
A comforting something to grab hold of
At Machu Picchu,
all the Grandmothers long since dead.
Stomach cleared, you prayed for visions
And one was granted.
Telling me the story later,
You said a Jaguar came to you
not drunk, just you.
He taught you how to fly & other useful things.
Most of which you didn’t remember.
I didn’t believe you about the Jaguar –
Too many people want him & not the rat
or ant or vulture riding on updrafts.
White dogwood petals
long to rejoin their Maker.
A velvet carpet.
Frozen crystals fall
white upon my eyelashes;
cold like Death’s best friend.
Noisy, hot, too uncomfortable.
Pity was, I voiced it.
Probably shouldn’t have, even jokingly.
All it got me was a new bruise.
Icy cold steals breath –
my blood turns chill within me;
winter creeps inward.
I felt my heartbeat the entire time
It almost scared me, until our hands brushed .
I kept my eyes on yours;
not wanting to waste a minute.
The old married pair swim neck to neck,
his colors flamboyant green & purple,
hers dull brown to protect their babies.
I felt aligned with her; no predator
would show interest – a fine disguise.
Her husband though, the fancy man,
swims with no knowledge that his
fine suit might be his undoing.
Perhaps not fair, but Nature knows best &
who are we to protest?
Meanwhile, my heart keeps beating in time
with my desires, just watching the two swim;
so easy being them.
The sun cuts my eyes as I gaze at those hills.
holding the lovely day to come.
Round, full with His gifts:
Care, shelter, all-abiding love.
From there will come my help in times of trouble.
Now, just His colors streaming through the Eastern dawn.
Help will wait another day – this watching is only for joy.
He’s seen me this way before – face alight with His reflection
Hair swept back by a kissing wind,
Those guardian hills stepping up straight & tall
Always talking to me, always reassuring me:
Look, look unto these hills.